~020714~
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim . . .
Why did i choose this date ? Honestly , i don't know too . But whenever i look at this date , my mind seems to be brought back to someone that used to be part in my life . And in fact , he's always special to me . Me and that someone special , R , used to be madly in love , in fact so obsessed with each other that we made a vow to get married to each other one day . Till now , i still hold on to the vow , hoping that it will turn out to be true one day , in shaa Allah .
Why on Earth did i delete our old photos ? Hahaha ! [p/s : Now my blogspot is gonna look as plain as me right now !] Alright , shall i say , Getting married is every ladies dream ? Am i right ? Yeah , for me , i do want to get married to my future spouse one day , giving him my heart and soul to the marriage , be with him thru our ups and downs of marriage . And to include , completing each other strength and weaknesses ! :D Last and foremost , Accepting each other weaknesses . [p/s : we're borned to be like a patch ! covering each other's weaknesses by our strength . Kannn ? *winkwink*]
Happiness , Tears , Laughter.
Allah knows how i feel when we separated . Day and Night i fought with this feelings , until i found the antidote to cure all this sickness . By istighfar . I feel much more calmer , but again , it still hurts coz you didn't even fight with the person and all it leads was a breakup . How do you feel ? Try putting yourself in my shoes . You love him more than you love yourself , you were so sick that all you could do is to lie down , without doing anything , and your boyfriend called you up to ask about his assignment , you struggled a bit and explain the work that have to be done . I put my sickness behind , just for him . My parents scolded me for picking up the call , but , no , i love him , how can i let the guy im in love with suffer all this alone . As for me , once i'm madly in love with someone , no matter how hard situation can be , i just gave him the time that he needs . NO REASONS . Put aside all the sickness , no time etc . I don't mind if he doesn't care about my sickness , i just want him to know that i will and always be there for him no matter how hard the circumstances are . I LOVE HIM . MADLY .
Till one day , his attitude changes , he no longer smile sincerely like how he used to be . I questioned myself , where have i gone wrong ? I've gave him everything that he need . I admit , i'm a very lousy lover . I'm not good in "I love you" , "You love me" , "I miss you" , "You miss me" . I'm not that type of person that easily expresses my feeling to him , only when i really need to . Maybe that was the reason - i see the smile in him slowly fading away . And the truth came out , i didn't know what to do , "The love i had for you is getting lesser and lesser each day ." How do i feel ? What should i do ? Why must it turns out this way ? Am i not good enough for him ?
I broke down . I cried . Never have i felt this tired . So tired that i started to be heartless . Not being able to respond to all those feelings . I have never expected to get this type of treatment , after all that i've been thru with him . I stayed positive , "Allah replaced him with someone better ." Yes , i consoled myself with that phrase . After all , he's still the best .
The first person i told about this was M , my bestfriend . She was indeed shocked , coz all this while my relationship was sailing so smoothly that she couldn't see any faults or wreckage . If i could recall , i still remembered a few days after i broke up with him , i was totally sick . I couldn't get out of the bed , and my parents was so worried . I was thinking of my ex , all day , everyday . I miss him terribly . Oh mum . How do i recover from this ? I ate a few capsules of panadol , but it got worst . I busied myself [p/s : succeeded , but it just got worst too .] I hugged the teddybear that he gave me , hoping that my body aches and fever subside . Alhamdulillah , it subsided . But not for long . So the last resort was , meeting up with him for lunch . Hahaha ! Miraculously , i reached home , feeling alright and fresh . xD This gotta be the funniest thing that happened to me . Lovesick rupanya . -.-"
I'm in love with this paragrapgh from one of the bestselling novels in Singapore , LKH . Let me share it with you .
"That day, we had been together for 3 years . There was no sign of any loss in our love and our relationship was as steady as a rock . We chatted every night and updated each other on what were doing almost every hour . Friends around me said we would be the first couple to get married among them . I just smiled , and hoped it was true ." - (':
